Revitalizing The Classics - Bell, Book And Candle

The old Hollywood is undeniably dead. The stars of today have become classless, cheap imitations. Bad movies are pumped out more often than good ones. It has just come to the point where the very soul of it all has just vanished. So why not return to a bygone era where the stars were glimmering gods and goddesses? Why not bask in the glory of the movies that didn't rely on vampire/human sex to drive sales? Yes, that was a direct jab at Breaking Dawn. While we're on that subject, I'll bring up the first movie in the Revatilizing The Classics series... Bell, Book And Candle.

Novak casting her spell

Bell Book And Candle is an unconventional love story set around an unsuspecting human named Shepard 'Shep' Henderson (James Stewart) and a crafty, seductive modern witch named Gillian 'Gil' Holryod (Kim Novak). This pairing may seem familiar to some who have seen Alfred Hitchcock's masterpiece Vertigo. If it doesn't seem familiar, don't worry. I'll cover Vertigo somewhere down the line.

The story is set into motion on Christmas Eve when Shepard's phone is bewitched by Gillian's Aunt Queenie Holryod (Elsa Lanchester). This causes Shepard to retreat to Gillean's apartment downstairs (also a functioning Voodoo shop) to report that his phone is malfunctioning. It is a chance meeting at first, but it quickly turns into a game of cat-catches-mouse (not cat-and-mouse) when Gillean discovers that Shepard's current fiancé is her old roommate that caused her trouble during college. In order to get back at her old roommate, Gillean plans to take Shepard away from her. Thus, a spiteful love spell is set into motion. What ensues is a lightweight romantic comedy as Gillean tries to hide her true identity, her true intentions behind the love spell, and her true feelings from herself and her warlock brother Ricky Holryod (Jack Lemmon).

Bell, Book And Candle didn't really break any new ground, but it is certainly a movie that shouldn't be missed. The story is fun, Novak sets the screen on fire, and this was ultimatly the last romantic lead role for James Stewart. He himself admitted that he had been miscast as lovesick Shepard (due to his age), and I regretably agree with him. However, that does not mean that his performance was marred. It was still as good as ever.

Memorable Quote:
Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: That girl you know, Gillian Holroyd, she's one.
Merle Kittridge: A witch?
Shepherd 'Shep' Henderson: Yes!
Merle Kittridge: Shep, you just never learned to spell.

I give Bell, Book And Candle 3.0 Osborne's* out of 5.
*Robert Osborne is the Turner Classic Movies primary host.



Photos courtesy of Harvard Film Archive and Google

Popcorn Worthy? - Paranormal Activity 3

READER BEWARE: Opinions Are Expressed Below

The third installment in the Paranormal Activity series delightfully proves that this series has some serious legs. Whoa! That's a pretty bold statement about a movie that is like watching home movies from hell. Sounds boring, but that's the beauty of it.

Following along the same close lines as its predecessors, PA3 goes back in the past to explain why Katie from the first PA slowly went evil. So, what does that mean? That means we're still voyeurs on a demonic Where's Waldo hunt while watching a typical family descend first into curiosity, denial, and then terror. You'd figure that it would get old by now, but it doesn't.

Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman (the mad-men behind a possibly-true movie called Catfish) have injected their own brand of mayhem into the mix. The scares are much longer, more frequent, and bigger than any other PA movie. There is no single segment dedicated to just a door moving anymore. The directors know we've already seen that and crave something more. That's what they give us... more substantial visual scares. For example, a camera isn't positioned in a fixed position anymore. As it pans across the living room and into the kitchen, you know that something is going on just out of sight. The demon also gets a visual overhaul. He gets a name (Toby), the demon gets a bed sheet, the demon gets a dark shadow, and the demon gets dirty.

Now on to the issues:

>Yes, it's true that 75 percent of the footage shown in the official trailer is not featured in the movie. It's called the "editing process." It's not false advertising. It's just something that happens. I'm sure it will all show up on the DVD as an extended cut.

>Yes, this movie takes place in 1988, but is shot in HD. We already know it's not real, so why is that important? Do you really want to watch a movie in a crappy format? You'd complain about that!

>Yes, the last 15 minutes of PA3 is a complete game changer. It gives the viewer some answers, and it provides even more questions. It gives the answers the viewer wants or the answers that the viewer doesn't want. I personally liked it, but there are some who are ripping it to shreds. Oh well... it's just a movie.

3.5 Popcorn Kernels out of 5 (same as the first two, more visual scares, some answers provided, and a tense ending)



Photo courtesy of Google

Justice Served

Here's an update on the Bowie County Clerk firestorm that has now been doused. Seems like there is still some sense left in America.

The Bizarre: Bowie County Clerk Being Crucified

http://news.yahoo.com/video/opinion-15749653/county-clerk-punished-for-patriotism-26031891.html

Okay, I may not be the most religious or patriotic person ever, but hearing this story really grinds my gears.

My mother is the County Clerk (thanks voters!) of Franklin County, and she has to attend the Commissioners Court meetings to keep the minutes. In her "keeping the minutes" routine, she has to sit there and listen to un-ending wisdom of our commissioners and then transcribe it over into a documented form. Thankfully, she has a recording device to capture their golden voices. This is what Natalie Nichols, the Bowie County Clerk, did before she set off for some continuing education courses. Anyways, she did her duty and put the Pledge of Allegiance. Sounds pretty basic, but in our screwed up society we are not guaranteed our rights/freedoms because a particular group may be offended and sue.

When Nichols returned back to Bowie County, the Pledge of Allegiance had been stricken from the minutes as if it had never existed by Sterling Lacy, the County Judge. Ummmm...last time I checked the Pledge of Allegiance is our country's binding staple.

First off, the County Clerk has control over the minutes and DOES NOT have to have them approved by the Commissioners Court. So, Judge Lacy had absolutely no business to just mark out the Pledge. Nichols was brave enough to fight back, and now she's being persecuted by Judge Lacy and has to go in front of Grand Jury with a possibility of losing her job. This is absurd!!!

Have Americans suddenly become so spineless? Are we big enough weasels to strike down our own Pledge of Allegiance and attack those people who try to support it. Must we really give up our rights/freedoms our ancestors fought for in the process of pacifying atheists and anti-Americans? The way America is going...yes we must. We can't hurt a man's feelings by subjecting his child to saying the word "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. We can't say "God" or "Jesus Christ" at funerals, yet the Supreme Court allows the Westboro Church go to military funerals to scream the most absurd and hateful things I have ever heard in my life. We can't allow children to sell lemonade to raise money to go to a water park without a city permit. It is all nonsensical. However, millions of Americans are just letting it slide by and being jellyfish.

Sure, the easy thing to say is... It's those damn conservatives...those damn liberals...or those damn guys on Fox News/CNN with the (R) or (D) by their names. Quit lying to yourself. It's not a Republican or Democrat issue...it's an American issue.

So click on the link above or below, and face what is going on in your country and potentially your county.

Oh and by the way...

"I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all."

God Bless America, Merry Christmas, and In God We Trust!

http://news.yahoo.com/video/opinion-15749653/county-clerk-punished-for-patriotism-26031891.html

Photo courtesy of Yahoo News

Popcorn Worthy? - Captain America: The First Avenger

READER BEWARE: Opinions Are Expressed Below

This is definitely the summer of the superhero. We've been overwhelmed with Thor, the Green Lantern, X Men: First Class, and now Captain America. It certainly sounds exciting, but are they really worth watching? I can't speak for Green Lantern, X Men, or Thor (since I skipped them), but I can certainly speak for Captain America.

What promised to remedy the suck-tacular Captain America movies of the past actually added more injury to the already bleeding wounds. The director, Joe Johnston from The Rocketeer, must think that visuals haven't improved since his earlier directing days. I get that Captain America was a comic book, but the entire World's Fair scene looked like an old Bugs Bunny cartoon playing in the background. It was rather pathetic. And I don't think Johnston got James Cameron to help construct the skinny version of Chris Evans. CGI is better than that! So, the visuals were mostly shoddy at best. Maybe it was the look Johnston was going for, but it wasn't a look I wanted to see.

Next on the burn list is the entire plot. It was about as flimsy as wet cardboard. Why was the cube from the Transformers franchise in this movie? Can Captain America really be that sappy, lucky, and good hearted?  He can in the comic book world, but let's get realistic. It was a huge and muscular cheesefest.  The biggest sin of this entire movie was a montage scene right as Captain America becomes... himself. I mean, seriously? Really! I didn't pay to see a montage scene of Chris Evans looking stupid in the poorly designed Captain America suit.

The characters were just about as flimsy as the plot. I honestly didn't make a strong connection with anyone. They were just cardboard cutouts saying some lines (and limitless skinny jokes) in front of a camera. Tommy Lee Jones did have a few shining moments, but only a few. Hugo Weaving and his short doctor friend had some good moments too, but all was lost near the end when nothing made sense. What was the evil plan anyways?

Don't get me wrong, there are some good moments in this film. However, those good moments were only good because they reminded me a little of Indiana Jones... sometimes a lot like Indiana Jones.

2.5 Popcorn Kernels Out Of 5 (cartoon visuals, boring plot, standard characters, and a montage that made this movie a huge ripoff)



Photo courtesy of Google

Popcorn Preview: Paranormal Activity 3

I'll save the same "I love POV movies" monologue that I shared in the last Paranormal Activity post and get right to the point.

The direction that the PA franchise is going (a rather backwards direction) is kind of blowing my mind. It's just like Christopher Nolan's Momento, but longer. This is a whole new concept to a series that is making things fascinating. We know what's already happened, but we don't know the beginning and we don't exactly know the ending. It's like reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and then reading all the other books backwards before reading the last book. It doesn't make sense, but it is working (for me anyways).

I'm not going to give anything away, but something is after the two little girls in the trailer below. If you've been keeping up, then you know that we've already encountered these two girls before in the previous PA movies in woman form. It was in these movies where we witnessed their terrifying metamorphosis into a demonic being who wants to kill and kidnap a baby boy named Hunter. That's about it in a nutshell.

This third installment in the series promises to reveal the secret behind the demonic being and why it has been causing havoc in PA 1 and 2 by taking us back to 1988. As far as I can tell, this whole franchise is taking a Bloody Mary approach. But is that really the key to the whole mystery? Most likely not... they would have never shown it in the commercial.  I have a few questions that I hope this movie will reveal. Will we finally figure out where Katie is? Will we find out Hunter's possibly tragic fate? Will PA 3 only lead to more questions that can only be answered in the past? We won't know until October.



Photo courtesy of Google

Popcorn Preview: The Dark Knight Rises

My question is, why must everything have an end? Especially Christopher Nolan's amazing reboot of the Batman franchise?

This little teaser trailer shows basically nothing, but I am excited as ever about the new Batman movie in 2012. As I've said before, Nolan knows how to market a movie. We get about a five second glimpse combined of Bane, which is the only villain that ever managed to break Batman's back (I have a bad feeling about this movie being the end of the Batman trilogy). We also get a glimpse of a possibly dying Commissioner Gordon and hear a Liam Neeson voiceover. Cool beans. My only complaint is... where is Catwoman?

There's still a whole year to go, but this trailer is a glimpse at an amazing movie.



Photo courtesy of Google