Fighting the Disease Called "Boredom"

We've all had that one class where the professor monotonously keeps talking about a subject that we really just don't care about. This eventually leads to the disease called "boredom". This nasty infection is spread from professor's mouths and can be passed on through the use of an assigned textbook, lab work or any other work assigned by a professor.

Prolonged exposure to "boredom" can eventually lead to the inevitable and serious disability called a "head bob". Never heard of it? The symptoms of a "head bob" include heavy eyelids, one numb brain, periodic blackouts and unfinished notes. The hardest symptom to identify is the periodic blackout that usually occur in five-ten second intervals during the entire class period.

But have no fear! I am here to help identify the dangerous signs of the "head bob" for you today. Maybe you have it and just don't know it?

Exhibit A: This student has not been subjected to "boredom" and is perfectly healthy (in his own way).

Exhibit B: This student has just been exposed to "boredom", however the signs are minimal. Notice how he draws a character related to the subject in order to fight the small signs of the "head bob". The student informed me that the character shown below is Gandhi with a megaphone saying "Let my people go!"

Exhibit C: This student has experienced prolonged exposure to "boredom", and the symptoms are at their highest point before the "head bob" occurs. Notice how the student is fighting the "head bob" through drawing like the student in Exhibit B, but this student is drawing bizarre and twisted images that are not related to the subject. The student informed me that these "drawings" were called "Le Spilt Salt", "Donkeyphant", and "Martian Volcano". Please Keep in mind that the student was delirious at that moment.

Exhibit D: This student has been overcome by "boredom" and is now experiencing the most critical case of "head bob" I have ever seen. If you look carefully, you can actually see where this student experienced his "head bob".

I hope and pray this demonstration can encourage everyone to fight future cases of "boredom". Hopefully we can do it before it strikes your child, neighbor, cousin and monkey's uncle.

We Must Unite To Join The Fight!*

*Everyone in the world has already been infected with "boredom". There is no cure, and it's too late to save anybody. We will all die. This message was written in a state of "boredom". This message has not been approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

Finals Week

Darkness has descended upon Commerce, Texas. The professors have sprouted claws and fangs, blood is pouring from grading pens, and students have turned into sleep deprived zombies. I can already feel the symptoms overtaking me. My eyes ache...my hands cramp...and I can literally feel my hair follicles turning grey. Where is our saviour? Where is our white light? All hope seems lost in these dark times...OK...OK...I'm stretching the truth just a tad...but it really is that dreadful time of the year where FINAL EXAMS crawl out of the fiery pit of Hell to cause misery and headaches. No exaggeration there.

I literally just got done writing Stalin's life story for the fifth time this semester (socialism and fascism are running rampant in the history department), and I couldn't be more relieved. However, I'll be writing about him and other communist activities more on Thursday for both of my history classes. What a joy...

Well anyways, I just wanted to check in and let everyone know that I haven't been sucked into the black hole of finals...yet. More posts to come as soon as tests are done!

Photo courtesy of Google

Terror Trails

Well, October is finally here! The nights are comfortably chilly, and the haunted houses are officially open for business. I must admit that getting a good adrenaline rush from people popping out the darkness is one of my guilty pleasures. I've been needing a good scare, so last night I returned to my haunted house roots and went to Terror Trails in Yantis, Texas near Lake Fork. Technically, it is not a haunted house but a 1/2 mile trek through the extremely dark backwoods of East Texas.

I've been to Terror Trails several times before, but this time around I had three Terror Trails virgins (Megan, Katelyn and Camilo) tag along. When we reached our destination, they were all pretty skittish and trying to decide who was going to be upfront and who was going to be in the back. Me, being the noble one, decided to take up the front position and to be Megan's "Pillar of Strength". In other words, I allowed her to squeeze the circulation out of my right arm and place her face into my back when we had had to walk through the several tightly enclosed spaces.

Last night, of all nights, was the best night to go to Terror Trails who is celebrating its 13th year of operation this year. Since it was a Friday everyone was at a football game. So we literally managed to "hit the trail" within five minutes. In the past years, I've waited in line for almost an hour. It's usually worth the wait, and last night was no exception.

I pretty much knew what to expect, but the rest of the crew was about as nervous as a virgin at a prison rodeo (that's pretty nervous). Tensions were high as we walked into "The Black Room". Katelyn and Camilo were pressed up pretty tightly against me and Megan, and they had the general fear that we were going to run off and leave them.

"Sorry if I choke you, Chance," Katelyn said as she clung to the hood of my jacket.

We reassured them over and over again that we would try our best not to, but it's every man for himself. Just kidding! Well...maybe not. There was series of incidents shared between all of us that showed what might happen if we were stuck in a "scary movie situation". My companion Megan sacrificed me to a big bat, or pushed me into it to be more precise. Later on, while we were running from a chainsaw wielding maniac, I dragged Megan through a semi-maze like building and made her face smack up against a wall...I did not stop. Yes folks, that would be the same infamous wall that broke my glasses many moons ago. As for Katelyn and Camilo, they fought over who would form the rear when we walked into the several buildings, but they made up when Katelyn tumbled (chainsaw maniac scenario again) and Camilo stayed behind to encourage her to get up. And that folks, would be murder victims two and three (since I was already eaten by a man-sized bat). The question is, would Megan have made it out alive? I don't think so. She would most likely be the last one left, but murdered she would be (after being punched in the back by Camilo). How? Most likely by some troll hiding underneath a bridge.

At the end, I realized I left out a very important rule aside from mentioning anyone's names (they will call you by name if they know it)... don't run or otherwise they will just chase you farther. I remembered this rule as the entire group tried to catch its breath.

"God, this place needs a bench," Katelyn said as we stumbled away breathlessly from the first chainsaw.

All in all, scary and mindless fun was achieved. Afterwards we all went to one of the friendliest places in Sulphur Springs...Whataburger.

And now for some blurbs from last nights spooky adventure...

"Do we have to walk through there? Can't we just walk around?" - Megan
"I've got a great idea, why don't we just turn around and go the opposite direction?" - Katelyn

"Was he spitting on us, or using a water bottle?" - Megan
"The water was dripping from the ceiling." - Chance
"That's even worse." - Katelyn

"Oh my God, is that a bridge? Is that a bridge!?!" - Megan
"No, that's a building." - Chance

"Those buildings weren't designed with fat people in mind." - Camilo

"I'm too out of breath to scream. I can only grunt." - Katelyn

"There's somebody in there...there's somebody in there. Don't push me!" - Chance

"Would someone please stop stepping on the back of my shoes?" - Chance


Photo courtesy of Google

Whataburger

It’s the simple things in life that matter, and the Whataburger in Sulphur Springs, Texas has that simple charm. This Whataburger is just a quick stop for a good burger and extra salty fries, but to me it is so much more. It is made out of beautiful limestone, and the interior screams elegance. It has to be one of the most fancy and most spacious Whataburger’s I have ever seen. Sometimes I can forget I’m just eating at a cheap burger joint while admiring the real paintings hanging on the walls.

The atmosphere is not the only thing that gets me. When I walk into this Whataburger, the staff always greets me with a smile and belt out across the room, “Hello! Welcome to Whataburger. How are you doing today?” The greeting varies a lot depending on who is greeting you, and no other Whataburger has ever greeted me this way. The best thing is that the smiles never stop. While I dine, the staff constantly come by the table and asks if I need more ketchup or anything else. It’s almost as if they expect a tip (which they don’t)! Whenever I leave, I always hear over my shoulder, “Thanks for coming! Have a wonderful night!”

The best thing about Whataburger is that it is open 24 hours, opposed to everything shutting down at 10 p.m. like in my hometown. I have spent many nights hanging out with my best friends from high school and college at a Whataburger, and I have literally sat in a Whataburger all night long just talking. The staff never seem to care (as long as you order some fries or a drink). Sometimes the staff even joins in when they are not busy. Can you believe that a Whataburger is actually busy at 3 a.m.? Well believe me, it is! It all makes for a very pleasant experience.

Many memories have been made at Whataburger on a late night. I shall cherish them all.

Photo provided by Google