READER BEWARE: Opinions Are Expressed Below
If you like mermaids like Ariel, then maybe this movie isn't for you. These mermaids (which don't make an appearancece until later in the movie) are beautiful and very, VERY deadly. I'll just say that they are a cannibalistic and make the zombies in the movie look like harmless fairies. Believe me, this isn't kid stuff. I needed to start off with that because the mermaids are the most amazing thing about this movie. Another thing that needs to be said is that even if you haven't seen the second or third movie, then you won't be completely lost. To be honest, this is the direction in which the series should have gone in the first place. It doesn't have a deep plot and is clearly not supposed to be taken seriously (pretty much everything in this movie is impossible to do).
Acting wise, Johnny Depp just plays his usual Sparrow gig (and makes fun of it), Geoffrey Rush doesn't have a sense of sinister left in him as Barbossa, Penelope Cruz is sultry (maybe a little too sultry for children), and Ian McShane plays a tiresome and somewhat menacing Blackbeard (with magical powers?). I was more than relieved this Pirates installment was sans Keira Knightley's and Orlando Bloom's boring story arc and infused with a small and more interesting love story between a mermaid and a missionary. Yeah, sounds dull...but missionary's need love too and can provide gratuitous shirtless scenes for the ladies with a butt-naked mermaid for the men.
Anyways, the music is provided once more by Hans Zimmer and is infused with former Pirate's excellence on top of new musical excellence. My favorite tune is played during the mermaid scene and is fittingly called "Mermaids" on iTunes (very original).
Overall, this movie is fun, silly, and chocked full of action throughout as the characters try to beat each other to the Fountain of Youth. Like I said before, it can't be taken seriously...just like all the James Bond movies that starred Roger Moore.
3.5 Popcorn Kernels Out Of 5 (deadly mermaids, filthy pirates, a timid bad guy, good music, plenty of action, fun, and excitement)
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